Benjamin from Shmoota.com

2009-01-03T14:53:00.002-05:00

2009: An important year in my life.

2009-01-03T13:30:00.005-05:00

Well, another year gone by. It's no longer 2008, it's 2009. 2009 means a lot to me. This is the year that I graduate from high school, the year that I turn 18, the year that I attend college, and the year that Cassandra and I will have to make a very important decision. Although 2009 will hold many important things in my life, I'm not worried. I'm ready for this, all of this. I don't care what people say, I'll never miss high school. I'll probably only stay in touch with just a handful of people that I graduate with. I couldn't care less about anyone else. I like the idea of meeting new people in college, I like the idea of gaining more freedom, and I love the thought of where Cassandra and I will be.

Cassandra is the best thing that's happened to me in life. I went from being depressed, unfriendly, and not knowing what I want to do in life to the complete opposite of all of those. I'm happy now I feel like I have more to live for. I've regained faith in God. I'm always trying to be friendly to other people. I try to never be rude whether I don't like the person or it's a stranger. It's so awesome to think about how we've been dating now for ONE year and ONE month. It thrills me to think about it. I love the time that we've spent with each other this past year. I'm very excited to see what the year 2009 has in store for us. Cassandra has always been honest with me. She's been very good at always telling me the truth. I'm so glad I've got such an honest girlfriend. Unfortunately, there has been times when I thought she wasn't being truthful. I can't believe that I used to think that once in a while. She's never given me a reason to think that way. I'm just glad and proud to say that I trust her 100%. We're both very honest with each other. I feel honesty is one of the most important things that needs to be there in order to have a real functioning relationship. I just can't believe it! Cassandra and I have been together for over a year now! One day I thought this would never be possible, it seemed like a year was going to take a long time to go by. Now we've been dating for over a year and it feels like it's gone by so quick! I love Cassandra. I mean it, I really LOVE Cassandra. Someday we're going to be living with each other raising a family. I'm looking forward to that day. It's going to be great. I read an article recently that I stumbled across online talking about why marriages don't last. One of the main issues was dishonesty. As I talked about earlier, that won't be a problem with us at all! Cassandra has always been there for me. When my mom was in the hospital and we didn't know how things were going to turn out with her she was able to get a ride up to the hospital which was 2 hours away to stay with me and comfort me. I'll never forget that. Her being there for me was one of those things that made me realize how much I needed her in my life. I never forget how much I need her in my life because every day I'm reminded of how I need her by the things that she says and things that she does. Sometimes she's not able to do certain things or say certain things because we're not able to see each other or talk on the phone until late. That's when I've been able to really realize how much she means to me and how badly I need her in my life.

I love you, Cassandra. Thanks for being beyond the typical high school girlfriend. Thanks for being thoughtful, honest, and REAL.

Impatience is NOT a virtue.

2008-07-08T22:07:00.009-04:00

So this is how it goes. Cassandra is at her Dad's house for 2 weeks. She's been there since very early Saturday morning. We've only been able to talk one to three times a day. We only actually "talk talk" once. What I mean by that is at 11:30p.m. we actually talk longer than 15 minutes. Unfortunately when it comes to just talking on the computer and having a good time her and I always fail at it. We always start a tiny argument then it becomes bigger... you know like the snowball effect. It just keeps getting bigger and bigger then just ---- CRASHES and everything falls apart. Fortunately, at the end of it all everything turned out okay. It's very clear that neither of us are perfect. We both make mistakes. No more arguing though. We're not going to let stupid things grab a hold of us anymore. We're going to try hard to be very careful. We've been dating now for a little over 7 months. It's been a very bumpy 7 months but everything we have gone through is just experience for the future. We'll know not to make certain silly mistakes. It's very clear that both of us are seeking a long-term relationship with each other. Neither of us want nothing more than to just get on with our lives... with EACH OTHER. This two weeks we can't see each other is NOTHING. We're going to be living together sometime in the near future and we'll be together for as long as we live. I get tired of people being irritating. Why does everyone assume people aren't capable of love until after high school? I think it's a bunch of bull$@!*. Love doesn't have an age. Just because I may be 17 and she 18, that does NOT meant that we are incapable of actually truly loving each other. We know darn well what we're getting ourselves into and neither of us think it's anything bad. I just can't wait until that day when we're both looking our best and say "I do" to each other. It's sure going to be one of the happiest moments of my life. People say don't marry young... but I say why not? If I had the choice of being very financially stable or extremely happy I would definitely choose being extremely happy. Happiness is one thing many people lack and is why some people are just so frigging miserable. I'm happy, she's happy. We're both HAPPY. It's amazing how we can spend so much time just cuddling beside each other and just talk to each other about things. I love her so much, more than I feel anyone will ever know or understand. Obsession? No. Love? Yes! Now I just need to wait until this dreadful two weeks passes...

Cassandra Anne, you're everything I've always wanted in a girl and more. Don't you dare ever think that I think otherwise. I love you so much... Really? Yes really.

-Benjamin.

6 Months!

2008-05-29T06:30:00.000-04:00

It's been half a year now. Cassandra and I have been dating for 6 months. It seems like it can't get any better than this... I love her so much. I'd do anything for her. She's my everything; my all.

10 More Days

2008-05-19T22:29:00.002-04:00

I can't believe it. Only 10 more days and Cassandra and I will have been dating for 6 months. I'm really excited because we've been together now for half a year. I'm also excited because I know this relationship is never going to fail. 6 months, 7 months, a year, 2 years, 5 years.... it's going to be so fantastic. I just can't wait.

I love you, Cassandra.

Cassandra + Ben = Endless laughs.

2008-05-19T21:56:00.005-04:00

Oh man. Where do I start? Saturday was such an amazing day.
It started out with me going to Cassandra's house in the morning around 9:30. I was really excited because when I arrived at her house she was sleeping. She was really happy about me being there and waking her up. We were supposed to go to Hornell that day to stay with some of her family. We ended up not being able to go though because their daughter's graduation was that day. So although I was a little bummed out I got to see a lot of Cassandra. We got to have a lot of CLEAN Cassandra-Ben time. Later that night... we went to the Drive-In.
It was a lot of fun but it was freezing cold outside and it was all wet from raining earlier. We got to see some of the movie but I got really cold...since we were sitting outside of the car in 2 fold up chairs with only a tiny blanket. We got a lot colder and decided to go back to her house to get some more blankets. So we had to ask her mom for the keys so we could get into her locked house. We started to walk and there were mud puddles everywhere! It sucked so bad because Cassandra and I had flip-flops on and I kept on stepping in the puddles so my feet were freezing. While we were on the road... I decided to run with her to her house to make it quicker. Unfortunately... while I was running the keys fell out of the hoodie I was wearing. So, once we got to her house we had to go back and search in the dark for the keys that I dropped somewhere. We ended up running in our bare feet carrying our flip-flops down the white line on the street. People must have been really confused. We managed to get lucky though and I found them in the road. It's amazing how a car didn't run over them. Then we got back to her house WITH the keys. We got the blankets and headed back out the door and down to the Drive-In. We got there and ended up covering with the blankets while she leaned over on me...but we were still really cold. We ended up coming up with a good idea to have her like lay in the chair with me and put our feet on the other chair. I was so cold, so very cold but was extremely comfortable. She was warm for the most part, and it was really nice how we were cuddling. Oh, I forgot to mention we got french fries with vinegar. Although, we had to put the vinegar in separate containers...because Cassandra can't eat soggy food, lol. That ended up being a pain because we spilled a bunch of the vinegar before we got back to our chairs. Anyways, we were cuddling in the chair with each other laying down. I was so cold I had to get in the jeep. We both ended up going into the jeep and then we ended up going back to her house. After we got there everyone got out and then she and her sister Ashley(who was there to keep Cassie awake), took me home. The only bad thing about the night was something that I've never told Cassandra before and finally decided to tell her instead of hiding it and keeping it a secret for much longer.

I had such a good day with Cassandra. It's times like these that I'll never forget. It was a lot of fun and just simply a good time. I love her so much... I LOVE YOU CASSANDRA!

LOVE

2008-05-06T14:39:00.001-04:00

LOVE YOU WAY MORE, CASSANDRA ANNE!

School and BORED.

2008-05-06T14:37:00.004-04:00

So yeah. Just sitting in here in advisement chilling with the amazingly-awesome female. I'm quite excited about being able to go t oher house today after school. Good times. Yeah, we're supposed to be working on a project but don't really fee l up to it right now. Well, I don't anyways. Yeah. Fun stuff. Green apples?

Tired, happy, impatient, and bored.

2008-04-19T02:31:00.004-04:00

Well, it's 2:30 right now. I've been extremely bored this past week. The person I talk to and hangout with day after day went on a family vacation down to Florida last Thursday. She's finally coming back home up here in New York. I can't wait to see her...to hug her...to kiss her. I've worried a lot this past week with things relating to her. I don't know why I was worrying so much. I had nothing to worry about at all... she's never done anything wrong to me. She's always honest with me and always tells me more than she should have to because she knows I can get paranoid and assume stupid things. This is where trust comes in. I trust her 100% but once in awhile I get a little foolish and assume things. It's funny though how my assumptions always tend to be DEAD WRONG. No more foolish assumptions. NO MORE AT ALL. I'll never get anywhere if I keep making foolish assumptions for no reason. I want to do everything in my power to stay with her for the rest of my life. I don't care what people say, I love her and would do ANYTHING for her. I just can't wait for my hunny to come home. She's my everything...

I'm so tired. Unfortunately, I won't be able to stay up till 4:00a.m. or so to see if I can catch her on MySpace. I'm extremely tired and I keep dozing off a little bit at the computer...

Love you Cassandra!

Goodnight,

Benjamin.

School...

2008-03-28T11:21:00.002-04:00

I'm in the school library sitting next to Barnum and we're both bored out of our minds. I figured since I have the time that I'd make a new post on here. Not much to say really... I guess I could talk about today. I made a poster in my B.O.C.E.S. class and I think it turned out fairly well. My teacher absolutely loved it. Later I got a little pissed off for kind of a stupid reason.

Tough times.

2008-03-16T14:31:00.005-04:00

Well, it's been quite some time now since I've last made a new post...

I've been having a little bit of a difficult time lately with several things that are on my mind. I don't really know what to think about it all. I'm just trying to cope with it all...and that's been unsuccessful. I need to just push things aside and just not think about them since I have absolutely no control over most of the things on my mind. One thing that keeps me from falling... is my love for Cassandra and her love for me. I don't know what I'd do without her by my side. She has put up with a lot from me... she shouldn't have had to put up with any of it. I love her, and always will as long as she always feels the same way about me. She is just flawless in my eyes. I wouldn't wish to change anything about her personality or appearance. We've been dating for about 3 1/2 months now. Doesn't seem like that, seems like a lot longer than that. I just can't wait...she is my future...a dream come true...

11/29/07
C.A.H.

Perfect Days

2008-02-23T00:48:00.003-05:00

Perfect days rarely come my way but I've had a few and they've been with you.

Missing her...

2008-02-22T00:29:00.006-05:00

People suck. People lie, cheat, steal, and kill. People try and pressure you into doing things that you normally wouldn't even think about doing, things that you know are morally wrong. People just suck.

Little did I know that I'd become so attached to someone where I would have such a hard time being away from this person... even if it's only a day or two. This person isn't like most people, this person is far different and very unique. Sounds like a cheesy puppy love story, but it's not even close to that... this is real. I'm just glad that we feel the same way about each other. We had a bad struggle but we managed to work things out and get through it. In fact, I'd have to say that the struggle helped us out by making us realize just how much we love each other. I'm glad to be with someone who likes me for me. I feel as if no one is luckier than me.

C.A.H. - love you

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Now playing: Eve 6 - Inside Out
via FoxyTunes

Shmoota Gallery

2008-02-17T13:34:00.004-05:00

I've just added the "Shmoota Gallery" link. This link will take you to a gallery that displays all of my photoshop work and pictures of friends and family. Right now there is only a handful of photoshop images and very little friends and family pictures. I'll try to add to the gallery as much as possible but it's going to take time for me to lookup the pictures and then upload them.

Whoah, update.

2008-02-16T19:59:00.004-05:00

I've decided to screw around with my website a bit and try using a blog format. I like the looks of it although I'd like to customize it a lot more (which I will do eventually).

Of course I'll do my best to keep this updated even though I'll probably get sick of it. I just need to think of something a little interesting to type about each day.